I'd been having random patches of contractions for probably close to a week, maybe more. These seemed to especially start up when I did something active like the vacuuming. And each time they would die down leaving me clueless as to when this baby was going to arrive. Thoughts of him coming early were no longer a possibility and as it was now Tuesday 29th of January and I was four days overdue. This was something I had never experienced before with my previous pregnancies and I was doing my best to rest and trust the process and embrace the unknown. I had thought I was doing pretty well with not letting my mind go to places that were not helpful but this could not be avoided at my midwife appointment that afternoon. Now that I was overdue my midwife had to discuss other possibilities as she was reluctant to let me go too far over my due date due to some of the increased risks because of the two c-sections I'd had. The possibility of being overdue hadn't really crossed my mind so I hadn't let myself think about the other courses that this birth might take. When my midwife brought up induction and elective c-section it seemed to tap on all the emotions that I didn't even know had been pent up from walking through this final stretch of pregnancy. She also checked the position of the baby and when I heard the word 'posterior' I was so disappointed. It was hard to not assume that if I had another posterior baby it was going to result in a labour and birth similar to my other posterior baby (second baby, Hudson) which was an incredibly hard experience. I was sidelined by how strong the emotions surged to the surface and the tears started flowing uncontrollably. I realised I could be facing some scary unknowns if I didn't go into labour on my own in the next few days. Cody and I made the decision to go ahead and book a slot at the hospital to be induced that weekend (if I had not gone into labour before then). I had my heart set on a water birth at our local hospital and I whole-heartedly did not want to birth at the main hospital in the city where I had a some traumatising memories from my first two births. Ultimately I knew I had to surrender to whatever course this birth was going to take. Despite being in this same sort of situation many times before with the other births it still doesn't make it easy to surrender to whatever is ahead. I had also agreed to my midwife performing a 'stretch and sweep' to try get things moving. After returning home from my appointment I took a bath and cried and cried. It seemed like the tears just kept coming uncontrollably. Once I was all cried out I felt a massive release and peace about whatever was ahead of me. It was like the tears cleansed me from all the fears and emotions that I had been carrying without even realising it. Fast forward to that night and I noticed that some of the mucous plug was starting to come away. I was also starting to experience some cramping. I let my midwife know and she said they're good signs but that they could also be because of the 'stretch and sweep' that was performed earlier than day.
I woke up the next morning after a good nights sleep and got myself ready to start walking to try and get things moving. I checked the weather and noticed we were in for a really hot day (around 30 degrees/85 fahrenheit) so it was a perfect day for me to walk around the camp while the boys played on the waterslide with Cody. Contractions had begun too which were promising but at the same time I wasn't holding my breath as I had already experienced random bouts of similar ones which didn't lead to anything. The mucous plug was also continuing to to come away. I timed my contractions as I walked and did lunges around the camp field for about 3 hours until lunchtime. While I sat on my birth ball and ate my lunch I noticed the contractions die down. So disappointing! I also noticed that I wasn't seeing clearly in one of my eyes. The realisation that I was getting a migraine hit me like a punch to the stomach. I quickly grabbed the copaiba essential oil, put a drop under my tongue and some drops in a large drink bottle of water and started guzzling. I could not believe that I was getting a migraine on the day I seemed to be going into labour. I'd had more migraines than normal during this pregnancy but thankfully I had discovered the benefit of using copaiba as soon as I got the blurry vision. I hate to think what my labour would have been like if I didn't have that oil on hand to combat it. In the past they would put me in bed for a whole day and would often result in vomiting. I was still very nervous that it might not work this time so when I noticed the blurry vision had subsided I was incredibly relieved. I was determined to keep things going so if it meant that I had to walk all day then thats what I was going to do. I started to walk around our house and backyard. Just after lunchtime my midwife called and asked for an update. She was hopeful that things really had started and gave me the option to come see her at her clinic around 2pm for another 'stretch and sweep'. I agreed to this and after dropping the boys at my sister-in-laws place headed to the hospital. I was having contractions sporadically but they weren't as regular as they had been that morning while I was walking. Once my midwife had performed the stretch and sweep she got a call to go attend a home birth and had to leave right away. As she was leaving she said "hopefully we'll be seeing you back here later on" which made me a bit excited and hopeful.
Once we had returned home the contractions started to come on more regularly and seemed to slowly increase in intensity. I got the TENS machine attached to my body as I was really starting to feel it in my back. Cody was doing his best to keep the boys playing outside but I could tell they were a little unruly. They would have known our attention was elsewhere and they were a bit wild because of it. It was around 4 or 5pm when I made contact with my mum who was still at work. I gave her an update on how things were and said that I was unsure whether she should take the boys since I didn't really know if this was really 'it' (I think I was reluctant to claim that I really was in labour out of fear the contractions would die down again but as I look back it seems almost silly that I wasn't recognising it and calling it for what it was). I told mum that we'll try make it to the boys bedtime so that I can labour while the boys are sleeping and that I'd stay in touch with her. Thankfully she insisted on leaving work and coming to get them because things were picking up even though I was still in a bit of denial that I really was in labour. Cody got the boys' things together and Mum arrived around 6pm to take them back to her house. Once she left Cody got hold of my midwife who was almost done at the home birth and gave her an update. She agreed that it was a good time to meet her at Rangiora hospital. We arrived there around 7pm as she was getting the room ready for me alongside her student midwife (who I had agreed to having her attend the birth). Cody got the room set up with some of our things like the oil diffuser and music. The intensity of the contractions were reaching some incredibly painful levels and the TENS machine no longer seemed to be doing anything in terms of relief. The possibility of something going wrong and having to be transferred to the main city hospital was one of my biggest fears. This was alleviated once my midwife checked to see how dilated I was and told me that I was at an 8. I was so relieved I think I cried a little. She then asked if I would like to get into the birthing pool. It was about 7:30 pm by the time I got into the pool and once I'd been in for awhile I could tell that the contractions seemed to stop coming as regularly. This got me worrying that they were dying down altogether. However when they did come I was shocked at their level of intensity particularly in my back which may have been due to the baby's position. Looking back I now realise that I was in transition and this stage lasted for probably about an hour. This was different to my previous natural birth where transition lasted only about two contractions. Around 8:30 pm right in the middle of a contraction this almighty need to push came over me from out of nowhere. I was completely taken back by it as I wasn't expecting to push as soon as this. At the same time a gigantic shriek emerged out of me which also took me by surprise. This all happened right as a nurse came in to check on how things were going. Right as she opened her mouth to speak I let out the shriek and she quickly disappeared. Due to the shock at the sound I had just made and the situation with the nurse walking in at that exact moment made Cody let out some nervous laughter. I remember him doing this and later got to laugh with him about it when we got to discuss the birth together. The enormous intensity that each contraction brought made me move and make sounds I had never heard myself make . It was really quite shocking. I tried my best to focus all my energy on pushing rather than yelling and at times succeeded while other moments the noise just couldn't not escape from my mouth. This was all so different to my previous natural birth where I literally made no sounds during the pushing stage. I was starting to feel completely exhausted and my midwife picked up on this and told to reach down and feel for the baby's head. I did just this and could not believe I was feeling his head so easily. This was encouraging and gave me a bit more strength to face the next contraction. After about 2 or 3 pushes, out came his head and then with the next contraction the rest of his body came out. Cody caught him and after some awkward maneuvering around my legs (since the cord was so short), he was on me. My first observations were that he had lots of dark hair, he looked really big and his head seemed pretty giant too! Delivery time was 9:08pm. The relief and joy was heavenly. It wasn't long before the cord was cut and Cody took him for some 'skin to skin' while my midwife got me out of the pool so I could deliver the placenta, check for any tears and monitor the blood loss. I quickly and easily gave birth to the placenta and she assessed me for tears and told me there was only a very small one that didn't need any stitches. Another relief! I was in heaven. There's nothing like those euphoric moments after giving birth. The next few hours consisted of snuggling and feeding baby Jude, FaceTiming my mum, texting other family and friends, eating toast, taking a shower and then settling into our room. I literally didn't sleep all night because of the adrenalin and excitement. Writing this birth story 3 months later is so lovely as I get to relive those moments all over again. I do remember thinking right after giving birth how glad that he was my last baby because I don't think I could do that again. Yet right now as I type and reminisce I truly do just remember the beauty and joy of the experience; the harder parts paling in comparison.
The day I went into labour (30th of Jan 2019)
